how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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