also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
