People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
