I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize