Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You're a waste of cheezeits
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
