The maid of honor just puked.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
