Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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