he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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