Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
