yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
