You're my little dorito
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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