you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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