And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize