Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
a search helicopter?!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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