He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
They have beer where we have blood.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
