well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
