Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
