so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
