did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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