I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
