I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
