; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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