I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
