New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
