doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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