I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize