I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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