i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
