sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
