i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
