Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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