Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
