I'm passing your future prison.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
