i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
