Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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