I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
