I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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