TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
