when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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