i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
