Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize