when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
