Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
there was a trapeze. enough said
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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