i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There r osticjed everywhere
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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