Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
