I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
