my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
