But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
