I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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