someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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