I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
