You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Your cock deserves a montage
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
