Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
