I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize