Define "chronic" masturbator.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
