Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just high enough for therapy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
