Are we in a gay sports bar?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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