that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
