things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
