I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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