She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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