Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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