I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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