I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
