I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
