I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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