Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
