You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
