we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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